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Saturday, May 1, 2010

C: Can I get a budlight and a miller lite? Me: sure, $6.50. C: hands me a very tangled and wadded up $20 bill Me: hands him back $13.50 in a wadded bundle C: wtf? Me: isn't that how you gave it to me? ~hee hee

C: 2 starfu**ers and crown and coke Me: Yes sir, it will be $19.25 C: hands me a credit card Me: Open or close sir? C: Open please Me: I'm going to give it right back. Swipe card, declined. go back to the customer, "Excuse me sir, do you have another form of payment? This card has been declined." C: Are you sure? Me: Positive. C: I just put money in there today. Me: I'm only telling you what my computer tells me. C: But I have plenty of money in there. Me: I'm sorry sir but it doesn't tell me why you don't have sufficient funds in your account. It just says declined. Hands him the receipt with the words.... DECLINED... on it. C: As soon as I got off from work I went and put money in my bank account. Me: I'm sorry sir however I'm going to need another form of payment or I'm going to have to confiscate your drinks. C: But.. Me: I'm not going to repeat myself. I'm not trying to be rude, however I am busy. C: hands me a $20 and tells me to keep the change........

C: (Staring at my cleavage) Can I get 2 budlights? Me: Hey! Up here, those don't serve drinks!

I was embarking on a conquest tonight to educate the misinformed about the spread of germs via "licking salt" off the neck of a bottle. This new trend in "dressed" mexican beer has probable cause to show rise in such illnesses as strep throat, flu, mad cow disease, possibly cancer, herpes, erectile pineal dysfunction, food poisoning, brain tumors, and the ever looming H1N1. Although the research is still in testing, a series of tests performed on homeless people across the US show the results are astoundingly creditable. One who partakes in dressing their long neck with salt are imposing a health epidemic on the US citizens. The FDA is considering a mandatory "Face Mask" station at the entrance of every bar in the United States. Long Neck Lickers beware!

On arrival and through the whole shift my waitresses, who honestly deserve a better title, kept praising me for being there. I love when my girls miss me! Even if its because the boys don't pay attention to them or don't serve them fast enough. The waitress well needs love too, and girls, I'm here for you! Rock on!

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