So Tuesday I had a gentleman that tipped me $100 on a $28 tab but it was because I gave his friend shit the whole time he was there. I ragged on him for talking crap about his air hockey talents and lost. Then I ragged on him about his lack of vocabulary. Every other word was a curse word. I told him he needed a bigger vocabulary in order to describe his emotions. That is what won me this big tip. That is a lame story compared to some of the stories I have in my archives. So here is one that is more exciting....

I opened the bar and the first customer I served asked for a ketle one and water tall. He said it without a slur so I had no idea he was already drunk and nursing his habit. After a sip or two he asked for another one. I mentioned that he had not finished his first one. He said it was watered down and needed another one. I served him another one and threw away his first one. This went on for about 30 mins. I asked for a form of payment and he gave me $200 cash and said to start him a cash tab. I did. Everyone from there on out that came up to the bar he asked to put their drinks on his tab. The tab started getting bigger quickly. Even with $2 drinks here and there. Half way through my day shift he's starts talking about how he bought the hotel across the street. The Hilton. I was skeptic as always because everyone lies in a bar about who they are. He kept making phone calls on his cell and passing the phone making me talk to random people to prove he had bought this hotel. First his son, the award winning quarter back of some prestigious college (which turned out to be ligit) to his girlfriend and his driver. I'm starting to get busy and still putting everyone's drinks on his growing tab. His driver finally shows up in the bar to "vouch" for his boss. About this time his tab is getting to the point of needing more money. This man hands me his debit card, gives me his pin number, and tells me to go pull out another $200 to keep the tab running. Skeptical I go downstairs to the ATM machine, pull out the money and notice he has about $50k in his checking account.... Really? Seriously. The rest of the night is a nightmare. He continues to buy everyone who comes up to the bar a round of drinks while he sips on barely touched drinks and orders more. He starts demanding more attention even though the bar is getting busier. He begins to start crossing the line of customer/bartender relations. Demanding I pay more attention to him although the bar is progressively picking up. Long story short, he's demanding food however we don't have food. Hell we don't even have a kitchen!

He gives me his credit card and tells me he wants sushi. Well the sushi restaurant conveniently shut down a week before and we have to order from NY pizzaria. We order enough to feed the bar. They show up, he's still ordering me around, yada yada yada.

All in all after running my hiney around, trying to compensate for his demands, he's still drunk, now his driver is drunk and he decides to close his tab out. He tells me to pocket the cash and hands me a credit card. He pays the tab, tips $100 on the tab.

So for a 6 hour shift, this man buys almost everyone a drink in the bar, demands my undivided attention plus unexpected food service and ends up tipping me $500 not including what I made from "regular" ppl at the bar.

In my opinion, it was an adventure, but not worth it. I don't do the experience justice with my story. It was long, inconvenient and worthy to make the blog of stupidity.

I mean if you had that much money to blow... go to a topless bar if you want that kind of service lol